The Pressure is On.
August 26, 2010 § 1 Comment
Eight months after FutureMama D and FuturePapa M wed, they have moved to a new country to be near D’s aging parents. Before departing M’s Ohmma (that’s “Mother” in Korean), was grabbing D’s belly fat, asking when the babies were on their way. Not pregnant, yet. Just a little chub.
Upon landing in the good old U.S. of A., D’s Mom has begun a campaign of not mentioning babies, at least three times a day. A typical episode of not mentioning babies:
“You know, D, Brother B’s friend, E, just had a baby. Her baby is so sweet and cute and active. You would love it!”
“I’m not that into babies, Mom.”
“Well… no pressure. I’m not talking about babies, for the record. I don’t care if you wait three years or ten to start having kids.”
“I just stepped off the plane, Mom. I don’t have health insurance in this county.”
“You could qualify for insurance automatically if you were pregnant.”
“You want me to be an unemployed, pregnant, welfare mom? Are you seriously saying this to me?”
“No, no. Like I said, no pressure. I’m perfectly happy with E’s baby. You’ll love her so much. You’ll want to have one right away.”
“Mom, my husband doesn’t even arrive in the country for another four weeks.”
“Well… you never know.”
D gives Mom a look that hopefully says, Never know what? That I’ll mysteriously end up a welfare mother with a baby that is not my husband’s? Should I be worried about you sneaking into my room at night with a turkey baster from the local sperm donor center?
“But remember, D, I am not talking about babies. Not at all. No pressure”
Five minutes later, in a totally unrelated conversation.
“Oh, D! You know, if you had a baby, I could take off work and take care of it while you’re working.”
“Mom! No job yet. In this country for 15 minutes. Comprende?”
“Oh, I’m not mentioning babies… I’m just offering. No pressure.”
Whatever you say, Mom.